I still love the people I’ve loved, even if I cross the street to avoid them. — Uma Thurman (via ohfairies)
(Source: larmoyante, via notanartmuseum)
(Source: fvjk, via notanartmuseum)
cop: who the hell ordered all these pizzas
me: you said i got one phone call
I need a make out session so intense that I forget all my problems and possibly my name.
I LOOKED UP CACTUS PUNS
THIS IS INCREDIBLE.
Are these drake lyrics
So I walked into the dentist this morning. My dentist asked me how my weekend was. I said “Good, I watched Captain America last night. I really liked it.” And my dentist says “Oh, my son is in that movie.” At first I thought he was joking but then I realized
Dr. Robert Evans
I looked it up
My dentist is Captain America’s dad
My doctor is JK Rowling’s husband.
JK Rowling’s husband has asked me if I am sexually active.
Being both soft and strong is a combination very few have mastered. — Yasmin Mogahed (via tellmefive)
(Source: islamicrays, via notanartmuseum)